The popular lyrics “all is calm, all is bright” may not apply to a lot of people over the next few months, as those holiday to-do lists pile up.
Rich O’Neill, Ph.D., a clinical psychologist at SUNY Upstate, said stress can be normal this time of year.
“One of the main things that happens is we have this huge crunch of additional things to do that we don't usually have in our schedule, and that time crunch alone raises stress," said O’Neill.
O’Neill said to fight anxiety, try mindfulness. If people have negative thoughts, they can identify why they’re worried and think about what resources they have to fight their concerns. And, he said, think about what you can do today to fight stress in the future.
"Start working now, rather than Christmas Eve, going out shopping crazily, running around looking for stuff. And be realistic about your money as well. Do a budget."
If you have big plans with family and friends, O’Neill said to think about simplifying your shopping and budget by trying something like Secret Santa. If you have a big gathering planned, you can keep the tone positive by avoiding controversial topics.
"If somebody insists, I say, 'Look, I just don't talk about politics and religion. I want us to be here and just have a good time together. That's my goal. I love you, and I know you love me, so let's do something fun," O’Neill said.
He suggests keeping more neutral topics in mind that you can introduce like kids, the weather, or sports teams you both enjoy. And if any of your guests are struggling with substance abuse or alcoholism, don’t have those things at the party.
On the other hand, loneliness can also be a big strain on mental health during the holidays.
"There are a huge number of people who are alone,” said O’Neill. “If you don't want to be alone, you don't like that, you can structure things into your life, so you can have time with people on those holidays or do other things."
That includes volunteering, which is known to boost mental health.
O’Neill said don’t forget the season is supposed to be about joy, so think about your values. For him, family comes first.
"I want to be with the grandkids,” O’Neill said. “So I orient my life around that and move things out of the way that prevent you from engaging in things that you like."
